Resources | The Memory Center

Taking Care Of Yourself & Managing Time After Being A Caregiver

Posted on September 28, 2018

As a caregiver, you invested countless hours meeting your loved one’s needs. Now that your season of caregiving has ended, you may feel uncertain about what to do next.

12 Tips For Adjusting To Life After Being A Caregiver

Consider these tips that help you care for yourself and manage your time.

1. Give yourself permission and time to grieve

After any loss, you will need time to grieve.

The commonly held stages of grief include:

Denial, disbelief, confusion, shock, and/or isolation
Anger
Bargaining
Despair and/or depression
Acceptance

Instead of hiding or feeling ashamed or guilty, give yourself permission to experience the grieving process. Realize that everyone grieves differently, and you may progress through the grief stages methodically or swing back and forth.

Likewise, you may experience intense emotions or a quiet sadness. No matter what you feel, understand that your grief is normal and that you have the right and need to experience grief in your way.

2. Use healthy and appropriate coping mechanisms

Grief can last months or even years, and you may wonder if you’ll ever return to normal. To cope, you may turn to drugs, alcohol, food, or other unhealthy coping mechanisms.

While you will never forget your loved one, we promise that the pain will eventually subside. Stuffing your emotions or drowning your feelings will only hurt you now and into the future. In fact, unhealthy and inappropriate coping can cause physical pain, emotional illnesses or long-term negative reactions.

Choose to exercise, talk, journal, or embrace other positive and healthy coping mechanisms as you grieve and protect yourself.

3. Ask for and accept help

In your caregiver role, you were the one who gave all the help. Caregiving depletes physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual resources, and now you’re the one in need of assistance.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable and ask for help as needed. Consider writing a list of tasks others can do for you or call friends who will listen and offer support.

By asking for and accepting help, you receive support and allow others to show you love.

4. Take care of your health

Visiting a doctor may be the last thing on your mind, especially if you spent a lot of time in a hospital with your loved one. You deserve to care for yourself, though, as you respect and energize your body during the grieving process.

Apply your caregiving duties to yourself and insist on a healthy daily regimen. Eat a balanced diet, get plenty of rest, exercise regularly, and visit your doctor for scheduled checkups.

Prioritizing your health equips and strengthens you for your grief journey.

5. Join a support group

Talking about your caregiving and grief experiences may scare you. It’s also hard to be vulnerable and continue to rehash the events surrounding your loved one’s passing.

Other caregivers and professional therapists or grief counselors understand what you’ve gone through. You can share your experiences and discuss your feelings and concerns in a support group. Here, you’ll gain practical advice and emotional support that sustains you as you adjust to life after caregiving.

Talking and sharing can also help others find healing, too.

6. Delay major decisions

The act of caregiving and managing grief takes a toll on your body, mind, and emotions. You need time to find a new normal.

Give yourself at least a year or as much time as you need before you make any major decisions, such as moving, growing your family, changing jobs, or entering a romantic relationship.

This cushion of time prevents you from making an emotional decision you later regret and helps you rediscover yourself.

7. Embrace new routines

Much of your daily routine used to revolve around caring for your loved one. Now, you may miss your caregiving responsibilities and struggle with the significant changes in your daily routine.

Rest assured that in time you can and will develop a new routine that becomes familiar, comfortable, and fulfilling. Start by deciding what will fulfill you each day. Remember to eat, exercise, and spend time doing things that fulfill you, too.

These steps lead you to embrace a new and positive routine.

8. Reevaluate your relationships

Loss affects everyone differently. Some people in your life may step up and offer additional support while others step away and distance themselves.

This relationship ebb and flow after a loss is normal, and you will eventually rediscover a strong and healthy support system.

For now, try to accept inevitable relationship changes. You can reduce stress when you bless and release people who withdraw and show gratitude for people who choose to stay.

9. Carefully choose new responsibilities

Without your caregiving duties, you may have fewer or even no responsibilities. You may find yourself bored, frustrated, or angry and be tempted to over-function and jump right into another caregiving relationship.

Consider giving yourself an extended time off from helping others. Work instead on the hard job of grieving.

You will also benefit from rediscovering the activities, interests, and duties that are important and fulfilling for you. Then carefully choose the new responsibilities you want to embrace as you fill your time.

10. Find fulfilling activities and interests

Caregiving takes time and energy. Instead of enjoying activities and investing in interests that used to be important, you may have put yourself on the back burner.

Now’s a great time to return to the activities and interests that mattered before you took on your caregiving role. You may even develop new hobbies.

Whichever experiences you choose to embrace, know that it’s healthy to fill some of your time with activities and interests that fulfill you and make you happy and content.

11. Discover new priorities and goals

Your role as a caregiver revolved around meeting your loved one’s needs and putting their priorities and goals above your own. Through that process, you may have given up your dreams.

Take time now to think about your future and what you want your life to look like. Then decide your priorities and set goals that propel you to make your dreams come true.

12. Help others

As an experienced caregiver, you have developed dozens of skills. You also understand the hard work caregiving takes, and you know about the grieving process firsthand.

Consider using your experience to help others. You could offer encouraging and beneficial support to other caregivers and make a difference in their lives.

By giving back, you gain an outlet for your energy and may even ease some of your grief symptoms.

Rebuilding Life When Caregiving Ends

Your role as a caregiver for your loved one may be over, but you can now embrace a new season of life.

Consider implementing these tips. With them, you find fulfillment and meaning as you care for yourself and manage your time.

You may also find caregiving support in these related articles:

When To Move To A Memory Care Facility?

Taking Care Of Kids And Elderly Parents At The Same Time

Common Challenges For Alzheimer’s Caregivers

Do People With Dementia Know Something Is Wrong With Them?

Posted on February 6, 2018September 15, 2021

Alzheimer’s disease progressively destroys brain cells over time, so during the early stages of dementia, many do recognize something is wrong, but not everyone is aware. They may know they are supposed to recognize you, but they can’t.

Maybe during a recent visit to your aunt’s house she insisted you help her find her winter gloves and boots – in the middle of July. Maybe she didn’t remember your name at all or thought you were someone else from the family.

These types of scenarios aren’t uncommon, and many people wonder if their loved one knows something is wrong with them. What if they don’t understand – should you try and convince them?

Do They Know They Have Alzheimer’s?

Seeing a loved one develop Alzheimer’s or dementia can be scary and confusing. Their behaviors can be misunderstood or not make sense to you. Red Johnson, an 86 year-old living with Alzheimer’s, explained to his daughter, Nancy, how it feels to live with the disease.

I love my family. My daughter-in-law and son-in-law; my grandchildren and great-grandchildren; my in-laws; and my nieces and nephews. I might not remember their names. I might be tongue tied when I try to talk with them. But, I still love them. Do you know how dumb it feels when you “know” the person talking with you is an old friend and you can’t remember their name? I know something is wrong with me, and I hate it. Don’t look “through me” just because I can’t remember your name or am mixed up about what day it is. Don’t ignore my needs because you think it doesn’t matter. – Red

Red’s story is a great insight into how it feels to know you are suffering from memory problems and how painful it can be. Read the full story on alz.com.

When Someone Doesn’t Understand Something Is Wrong

There are cases where people don’t recognize anything is wrong. You may hear this referred to as anosognosia which is thought to be the result of cell damage in the right pre-frontal lobes and the parietal lobes. This can happen during a stroke or as cells decline due to Alzheimer’s and dementia.

Caregivers and family members may notice obvious changes in someone’s behavior, physical or mental limitations while their loved one remains adamant everything is fine. Anosognosia isn’t denial, it is a medical condition.

Caring for anyone living in cognitive decline is challenging. Caring for someone who doesn’t recognize they are ill can add to that challenge. They may refuse to take medications because they don’t think they need them, or become angry when told they can’t stay home alone or drive to the store anymore.

Convincing someone there is a problem won’t make them believe you, so try to avoid arguing. It doesn’t help them understand the situation, and can also lead to agitation, distrust and fear – all common side effects of Alzheimer’s and dementia.

Read tips from The Memory Center on how to communicate with someone living with cognitive decline and how to keep them safe.

Early Warning Signs of Dementia

According to the World Health Organization, about 50 million people worldwide have dementia and 10 million new cases are revealed every year. So by 2030 82 million people are expected to have some form of dementia. As these numbers continue to grow it is important to recognize the symptoms of dementia.

Memory Loss
Difficulty Performing Common Tasks
Confusion
Problems Communicating
Impaired Decision Making
Social Withdrawl
Changes in Behavior
Depression

Day-To-Day Living With Someone Who Has Alzheimer’s

Keeping a schedule is important when caring for someone who has been diagnosed with dementia or Alzheimer’s. While every day is different, a routine that is based around activities to help promote movement and inspire purpose are important.

See what a typical day At The Memory Center in Atlanta looks like and what activities we suggest you include or contact us for more information about our programs.

Learn More About A Typical Day at The Memory Center

Recent Alzheimer’s Statistics

Posted on November 15, 2017November 15, 2017

Alzheimer’s and dementia will affect everyone at some point. Whether it is a friend, neighbor, parent, loved one or you work with as a caregiver – someone you know, love or care for will be impacted.

These Are the Facts and Figures About Alzheimer’s

Even though the statistics are scary it is important to stay informed. The more you know about Alzheimer’s and dementia the more you can recognize early warning signs, separate Alzheimer’s facts from myths, or learn how to handle the emotional diagnosis of a loved one.

Here’s a Great Infographic from the Alzheimer’s Association

How Many Americans Have Alzheimer’s Disease?

The Alzheimer’s Association reports more than 5 million Americans are living with the disease and someone in the U.S. develops the disease every 66 seconds. This is why The Memory Center communities are dedicated to providing care specifically to those living with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia.

People with dementia struggle to separate memory from the physical state of present-day living and research shows meaningful, structured activities focus and engage the aging mind, which eases common symptoms of boredom and agitation. All Memory Center programs are designed to inspire purpose, validate actions and invigorate while providing the highest quality of life for residents.

Schedule a Tour of an Alzheimer’s Facility

Contact us to get more information on our programs in Virgina Beach, Richmond, VA or Atlanta, GA. Or read more about our structured daily activities designed to help people with Alzheimer’s and dementia to live well.

Contact The Memory Center

How Much Does Alzheimer’s Care Cost?

Posted on October 25, 2017October 25, 2017

Millions of Americans are living with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia. As more of the population reaches age 65 and above, instances of the disease continue to rise.

Alzheimer’s is a progressive disease that causes memory loss and behavioral changes that eventually leaves the person unable to safely care for themselves. In the early stages of the disease many spouses and family members prefer to care for their loved one at home, but as the demands of the disease increase often residential care will become necessary.

While family members want the best for their loved one, the cost of care is a very real consideration, and memory care can be expensive.

How Much Does Memory Care Cost?

The cost of living in a memory care facility depends on several factors including private vs. semi-private room, cost of living in the geographic area, level of care needed, medical supplies and more.

While there is not one specific price for memory care, SeniorHomes.com compiled the average cost of memory care by state.

The states with the most expensive median monthly memory care costs are:

Maine – $5,800
Massachusetts – $5,642
Vermont – $5,575
Connecticut – $5,344
Rhode Island – $5,270

The states with the least expensive median monthly memory care costs are:

Idaho – $3,165
Mississippi – $3,233
New Mexico – $3,440
South Carolina – $3,703
Arkansas – $3,792

Memory Care Costs in Virginia

The reported median cost of memory care in Virginia was $4,100 per month. Keep in mind this means some facilities will cost less and some will cost more.

Comparing Alzheimer’s and Dementia Care Costs

When gathering information or touring residential facilities find out exactly what is included in the monthly cost. These costs vary from one facility to the other so knowing what is, or isn’t, included will help you accurately compare and avoid surprises later.

The Memory Center in Virginia Beach and Midlothian/Richmond offers an all-inclusive rate so families know what to expect.

Our memory care pricing includes:

Private & semi-private rooms including private bathrooms
Three daily meals, snacks, and daily ice cream socials
Emergency pull cord in every room
Memory boxes to help stimulate meaningful memories of their life
Utilities to include: Cable, Telephone & Wi-Fi
Housekeeping and laundry services
Maintenance of building and grounds
Outings with the Activities Program
Items from visits to the General Store

Personal Assistance:

Highly trained staff to assist with activities of daily living including bathing, dressing, eating, and toileting
Medication management by our certified medication technician
Health monitoring by an RN nurse
Medical oversight by physician trained in geriatric care
Full activities and Memories and Motion program designed by our Activities Director
Physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy with a physician prescription as needed
Hospice/End of Life Care available

The only additional costs are incontinence supplies, salon services, long-distance telephone or transportation to an individual appointment.

Find Out More About the Cost of Memory Care In Virginia

There are several options for memory or dementia care in Virginia. The Memory Center communities provide care solely for those living with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. Founded as the first assisted living facility devoted specifically to memory care, our program is designed to meet the challenging conditions of an aging brain with a caring, interactive community.

Utilizing the latest in science, nutrition, and interactive therapies, our daily structured activities provide meaningful purpose to those with memory loss. All Memory Center communities are built around our original Town Center and Neighborhood layout and feature focused programming and daily activities. We get to know each resident for who they are today – not who they used to be.

Contact us to learn more about the cost of memory care, or find out more about our programs and what to a typical day looks like in our assisted living facilities.

Taking Care of Kids and Elderly Parents at the Same Time

Posted on August 22, 2017August 22, 2017

Taking care of your kids at home while caring for an elderly parent? You’re a member of The Sandwich Generation, although the name sounds more appetizing than the scenario.

Adults in The Sandwich generation have children at home – or older kids maybe fresh out of the nest but still requiring support – and they also have an elderly parent who with increasing care needs. It’s a daunting and exhausting place to be – and we haven’t even mentioned the full-time workload you’re probably carrying.

We’re here to provide support.

7 Tips to Ease the Burden of Raising Kids While Caring for Elderly Parents

There is good news for The Sandwich Generation is twofold. First, you are not alone. In fact, according to the Pew Research Center nearly 50% of adults between the ages of 40 and 59 have a minor at home and/or an adult child they support AND have a parent 65+ who will require increasing levels of care. Just knowing you have a tribe out there can help.

Secondly, you are seen. Those of us who work in the world of senior and memory care witness first hand the burden placed upon you. We have many tips to help you take care of everyone in your family, without sacrificing the last vestiges of yourself, your energy levels and overall well-being.

Putting these 7 tips you can put into place can help ease the hardships placed on you and your family during this compressed period of time.

memory care richmond — Dining at The Memory Center, Richmond

1 – Start visiting local assisted living communities

. In the midst of crisis is one of the worst times to make big decisions. Instead, take advantage of free consultations with assisted living and memory care communities in your area. These consultations are rich with information and ideas you can put to work now while considering and developing your long-term plan.

Visiting long term care facilities is the only way to know which one feels like the best fit for you/your parents when the time comes. And if your parent is in the beginning stages of dementia or Alzheimer’s, these consultations give him/her some agency regarding their future – very important during a time when seniors often feel like they’re losing autonomy.

2 – Make the home safe and accessible

There are plenty of articles out there on how to remodel a home and make it accessible, but it doesn’t have to be that complicated. With even simple changes and adjustments to your parent’s house and yard, you’ll notably decrease their risk of falling – and that decreases their risk of hospitalization or surgical interventions known to contribute to senior cognitive decline.

Some of the most easiest changes to making a senior’s home safer include installing motion-sensitive lighting, minimizing trip hazards (like exposed cords, edges of area rugs, uneven thresholds, etc.), installing handrails in toilet and bath/shower areas, building a ramp if needed, rearranging cupboards so everyday items are accessible without bending over or standing on a step stool, and providing an easier way to reach you when needed.

3 – Include your children in the process

. We often forget children are alert and aware of what’s happening in the household and to the ones they love. Even if you think you’re keeping the majority of the “heavy stuff” out of their world, they know and sense you are being stretched beyond your means.

However, even adult children don’t always know what to say or how to help. Similarly, children are just as worried and concerned about their grandparent(s) in their own way and may feel very helpless, which can cause younger children and teens to act out.

If nothing else, foster open communication in age-appropriate ways about what’s happening to grandma and/or grandpa, how you are feeling and about how difficult this situation is at times. The more open and communicative your family is, the more supportive and connected it can remain – even during the toughest moments. If they’re old enough, engage children in helping to provide care and companionship, if they’re young – find little things they can do to be useful. We recommend reading, alz.org’s, Helping Your Children or Grandchildren. The tips are universal for any family coping with dementia or Alzheimer’s – whether you’re sandwiched or not.

4 – Make taking care of yourself a priority

You know the airplane safety spiel about fastening your oxygen mask first, and then ensuring everyone around you has fastened theirs? Use it as a metaphor for your current life. If you think things are emotionally and financially challenging now, imagine what it would be like if you wound up succumbing to serious medical issues as a result of over stressed caregiver depletion. It happens all the time to primary caregivers and it leaves their loved ones in a major lurch.

Primary caregivers must make their well-being a priority so they remain healthy, balanced and as centered as possible through this phase of the journey. That means eating a well-balanced diet, finding ways to get a little exercise in (some days, that might mean parking in the furthest spot to walk a little longer or taking the stairs instead of the elevator) and finding a way to clear 5- or 10-minutes of quiet-time amidst the busy-ness. Joining an Alzheimer’s support group can also provide a wealth of emotional support and bolstering.

5 – Take advantage of respite care options.

If your parent hasn’t relocated yet, contact local home care agencies to ask about their respite care services. Respite care providers give primary spouse and/or family caregivers the opportunity to focus on their regularly scheduled lives. In your case, this means more time to have dinner with the family, attend academic and extracurricular activities, go to bible study or religious events and to gain more quality time with the kids.

It can also serve as a baby step of sorts, a means of getting you and your parent accustomed to letting someone else help out with everything from companionship, driving and medication reminders, to meal preparation, bathing, dressing and toileting – all the things that may need to be taken over as your parent’s condition progresses.

6 – Imagine you’re meeting your parent for the first time

Whether a parent is diagnosed with Alzheimer’s or dementia, suffering from the crippling grief from the loss of a spouse and/or peers, or is simply frustrated s/he can no longer do the things s/he loved – The ability to take big steps back is an amazing skill-set for children caregivers to develop.

Imagine you’re meeting your parent for the very first time. See your parent as s/he is now – while keeping your memories sacred. This will help you to find new ways to connect, explore creative ways to communicate, and establish deeper means of cultivating compassion with who they are – and what they’re capable of – in each moment.

7 – Be gentle with yourself

You’re under a tremendous pressure – not to mention emotional duress. Also, you are human. Be gentle and compassionate with yourself – and always forgive yourself in the moments you aren’t at your best.

Please visit our News Feed for more resources on Alzheimer’s and dementia care. You can also contact us to schedule a tour of The Memory Center communities in Atlanta, Richmond or Virginia Beach.

Free Alzheimer’s Training & Planning Courses

Posted on May 23, 2016May 23, 2016

Caring for someone living with Alzheimer’s or dementia is challenging. Every day is different and presents new situations that can leave caregivers wondering how to handle a social situation, the best way to bathe someone with dementia or what to do when they refuse to take their medication. As the disease progresses so does the level of care needed can lead to more questions.

dementia care virginia To help caregivers and family members, the Alzheimer’s Association offers a number of resources including message boards where you can connect with others or ask questions, and many educational courses that are available 24 hours a day.

Courses include everything from Understanding and Responding to Dementia-Related Behavior which covers some common triggers for behavior, how to assess the person’s needs and respond more effectively to Legal and Financial Planning for Alzheimer’s Disease to review important legal and financial issues to consider, how to put plans in place and identify local resources that may help cover the cost of some care.

Other topics include resources for caregivers broken out by stages of the disease, how to handle difficult conversations such as driving or staying home alone and many more.

If you are caring for, or have a loved one, with Alzheimer’s or dementia take the time to learn more about these important topics.

As a caregiver it can help you become a more confident, better understand the person’s needs, or stay connected with others who are facing the same challenges. For those whose loved one is cared for in a residential facility, like The Memory Center, there are still questions as it relates to their care. We encourage all our families to stay involved, ask questions and educate themselves on the disease and how it progresses.

Read more about our approach to caring for those living with Alzheimer’s and dementia in our specially designed memory care communities in Midlothian and Virginia Beach, VA.

What To Look For When Touring Assisted Living Facilities

Posted on October 9, 2015December 27, 2021

Considering assisted living or memory care for a loved one is often a very difficult decision, and finding the right facility is important. Not only for your loved one’s health and well being, but for your own peace of mind.

When you tour facilities of course you will notice details like how clean it is, if it is well lit and in good condition. But to get the most out of your tour The Memory Center has some tips on other items to look for and questions to ask.

Staff to Resident Ratios

This is an important question to ask, not only for daytime, but during the evening and overnight hours as well. The higher the ratio, the more residents each staff member is taking care of during their shift.

The Memory Center’s ratio is 4 residents to 1 staff, which gives all our staff members more time to spend with residents, providing individualized attention and responding to resident needs.

What Activities Are Provided? Is There A Schedule?

No one wants their loved one sitting alone in a room all day bored, or in front of a TV. Activities are important in all types of assisted living and memory care facilities. Ask to see the activities schedule and, if possible, tour when activities are taking place so you can see them first hand. A sign of a good activities program is when the residents and the staff are engaged and having fun together.

If you are visiting a facility specializing in care for Alzheimer’s or dementia ask if the activities are designed to encourage motion, stimulate memories and keep boredom away. Read about a typical day at The Memory Center Richmond and Virginia Beach.

How Is The Food?

Mealtimes are important, as is the quality of food. Bland and boring food can get old very quickly. Ask to see a menu and note the entree options. Is there a good balance of choices and is the menu nutritionally sound? Visit the dining room and, if possible, join them for a meal and taste the food for yourself.

What Is Included In The Cost Of Assisted Living?

Assisted living can be expensive and what is included in a daily or monthly rate will vary from one facility to the other. Ask for a detailed list of what is, or isn’t, included so you can accurately compare and avoid surprises later.

The Memory Center offers an all-inclusive rate so families know what to expect. Our memory care pricing includes:

Private & semi private rooms including private bathrooms
Three daily meals, snacks and daily ice cream socials
Emergency pull cord in every room
Memory boxes to help stimulate meaningful memories of their life
Utilities to include: Cable, Telephone & Wi-Fi
Housekeeping and laundry services
Maintenance of building and grounds
Outings with the Activities Program
Items from visits to the General Store

Personal Assistance

Highly trained staff to assist with activities of daily living including bathing, dressing, eating, and toileting
Medication management by our certified medication technician
Health monitoring by a RN nurse
Medical oversight by physician trained in geriatric care
Full activities and Memories and Motion program designed by our Activities Director
Physical therapy, occupational therapy and speech therapy with a physician prescription as needed
Hospice/End of Life Care available

The only additional costs are incontinence supplies, salon services, long-distance telephone or transportation to an individual appointment.

How Is Bathing & Personal Care Handled?

How often do they bathe residents, wash their hair, help them shave if necessary? If you have bathing preferences for your loved one find out if they can honor them. Don’t forget to observe the current residents. Do they look clean and well-groomed? Are they dressed in clothing or still in pajamas well into the afternoon?

What Are Their Security Measures – Indoors and Out

What security protocols does the facility have in place to keep residents safe indoors and out – including every day safety like trip hazards. Do the walking paths have uneven footing or tree roots sticking out that could cause a fall? Are cords to lamps keep close to the wall to avoid a trip hazard? Is the space wide enough and open so residents can safely move throughout the facility?

If you are visiting a memory, or Alzheimer’s care facility ask how they manage wandering and what steps they have in place to prevent it.

First Impression

While it is important to ask questions and gather information, based on your first impression and instinct you will probably know when you’ve found the best facility for you. If your first impression of an assisted living facility is that it is too dark and smells bad, it probably isn’t going to be your top pick, even if the food was good.

Tour The Memory Center

Currently the Memory Center operates two facilities, Midlothian (near Richmond, VA), Virginia Beach and Atlanta. Our communities provide exceptional care for those living with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia. We founded the first assisted living facility devoted specifically to memory care with a program designed to meet the challenging conditions of an aging brain with a caring, interactive community.

Tips For Alzheimer’s Caregivers

Posted on September 4, 2015September 4, 2015

Caring for someone with Alzheimer’s or other forms of dementia is challenging. If you are caring for a spouse or close family member it can be even more challenging as you’re also dealing with the emotion of seeing a loved one in a state of decline.

There are some practical tips caregivers can take to help manage stress.

Reduce Alzheimer’s Frustration & Agitation

activites for alzheimers patients — Activities like gardening can inspire purpose and prevent boredom.

Agitation is common in people living with Alzheimer’s and dementia. Agitation can be caused by boredom, new situations, fear stemming from trying to make sense of a world they don’t understand, or basic needs like hunger.

Caregivers might not be able to reduce agitation completely but there are steps they can take to get ahead of it.

Take note of when agitation seems to occur. Is it a a specific time of day around mealtime? Perhaps they are hungry or thirsty. Is it at a busy time of day when other family members are coming home from work? If so try to limit noise or outside distractions and engage them in an appropriate activity.

Activities that provide a sense of independence and purpose can ease agitation – especially with those in the early stages of the disease. Familiar activities like setting the table, gardening, folding laundry, helping in the kitchen (with supervision), or their favorite craft. See our ideas for different activities or these tips from the Alzheimer’s Association.

Realize You Are Not Alone

While caregivers may feel isolated, it is important to know many others are in the same situation. Don’t be afraid to attend support groups where you can share your feelings or ask for helpful ideas. The Alzheimer’s Association and other organizations also offer online forums and support where you can connect with others 24 hours a day.

Develop A Schedule

Develop a basic schedule based around your loved one’s mood and needs. For example scheduling appointments, bathing and other activities in the morning when they are rested and have more energy.

As late afternoon approaches you may sense a trend of wandering or agitation from sundowning. This could be a good time of day to engage them in easy, soothing activities such as listening to music, watching a familiar movie, clipping coupons or looking through old photos. Click to read The Memory Center tips on how to manage sundowning.

Acknowledge Each Day Is Different

Even with a schedule every day will be different and sometimes you just need to be flexible. Those with Alzheimer’s, and their caregivers, will have better days than others. There may be days you feel like you didn’t get anything accomplished – and it is OK to feel that way. Keeping someone fed, safe, bathed and occupied is a big job and an accomplishment in itself.

Think About Safety

In addition to memory loss, Alzheimer’s also affects other brain functions including sense of perception and balance. Creating a safe place in the home where they can walk safely without trip hazards including rugs, cords, or sharp corners is highly encouraged.

Another safety concern is wandering, which is a common behavior for people with memory loss. Even if your loved one isn’t wandering, it is still a good idea to take steps to prevent wandering before it starts. Consider installing locks high up on doors and adding an alarm system, or a simple bell mechanism, that will alert you if a door has been opened. ID bracelets and other tracking devices like Medic Alert can help identify your loved one should they wander off.

Take A Break & Ask For Help

Caregivers are under a lot of stress and often don’t take time to keep up with friends, exercise routines or their own needs. Not taking breaks can easily lead to fatigue and caregiver burnout which isn’t good for you or your loved one.

Even if someone with Alzheimer’s objects, caregivers need to schedule time away on a regular basis. Ask another family member for help or consider using respite services who can provide caregivers experienced in working with people living Alzheimer’s and dementia.

Get More Alzheimer’s Tips

The Memory Center is dedicated to meeting the challenging conditions of an aging brain with a caring, interactive community designed around the individual. We are here to support our current residents, future residents and their families by providing resources and exceptional programming to those living with Alzheimer’s and other forms of dementia.

Fill out our contact form to receive more tips and information on how to live well with Alzheimer’s and dementia.

Preventing Alzheimer’s Wandering

Posted on July 27, 2015July 30, 2015

People suffering from Alzheimer’s and dementia are prone to wandering, which can be extremely dangerous for the person and very worrisome for caregivers.

There are different reasons for wandering including boredom, fear, searching for something or trying to find a place from their past such as work or a childhood home.

Regardless of the reason someone wanders, caregivers should learn to identify the signs of wandering and know how to keep their loved one safe.

Warning Signs of Alzheimer’s Wandering

While not all wandering can be prevented, picking up on cues can often stop wandering before it starts. Watch for signs such as:

Has To Be Somewhere – A person who insists it is time to go to work or pick up a child from school could be moments away from walking out the door
Boredom and Restlessness – Someone who isn’t getting enough exercise or stimulation can begin wandering simply to find someone to talk to or something to do
Needing To Find Something – When someone with Alzheimer’s or dementia starts looking for a specific object or person they may wander off to find it
Basic Needs – Consider your loved one might be wandering simply because they want a drink of water at night or need to use the restroom

Pay attention to these cues and note the time of day. You may see a pattern emerge.

Preventing Wandering

Once you identify the signs of wandering you can make a plan to control the behavior more effectively and diffuse the situation.

If you notice wandering is happening during certain times of day plan an activity beforehand such as going for a walk together, playing cards or working in the garden.

You communication style can also make a difference. If dad becomes restless and decides it is time to leave for work don’t argue with him or remind him he retired years ago. Instead try validating his feelings and re-directing him to another activity. For example say “you’ve always been such a hard worker” then ask if he will help you fold the laundry. Or acknowledge his need to get to work then ask him to tell you about his job. Talking about the memories might be all that is needed.

If wandering at nighttime is a problem make sure your loved one uses the restroom before bed or keep a spill proof cup of water next on the nightstand. This may prevent wandering to the restroom or kitchen during the night for a drink of water.

Keep Them Safe From Wandering

Getting ahead of wandering behavior is important, but there additional safety measures you can take to keep your loved one safe.

Place locks high on the door or low to the ground where they are not in the person’s line of vision
Use childproof door knob covers or disguise the door by hanging a curtain over it or painting the doorknob the same color as the door
Keep trigger items like car keys and shoes out of sight
Create a safe place for wandering in the house or secure backyard free of trip hazards like cords or tree roots
Install a security system that alerts you when a door is opened, or simply place a wind chime or bell on the door
Consider an ID bracelet or a GPS monitoring system such as Medic Alert + Alzheimer’s Association Safe Return

About The Memory Center

Founded as the first assisted living facility devoted specifically to memory care, our program and communities are custom designed to meet the challenging conditions of an aging brain with a caring, interactive community.

We support not only our residents, but also their families encouraging them to stay involved and ask questions so they can rest easier knowing their loved one is safe, happy and receiving care they can feel good about. Contact us for more information or read more about a typical day at The Memory Center.

Downsizing to Move Into Assisted Living

Posted on June 24, 2015April 5, 2017

Trying to downsize your home, or an older loved one’s home, for a move to assisted living isn’t easy. Figuring out how to start can be tough. Especially if they have lived in their home for many years. Deciding what to keep vs. selling or donating can be emotionally challenging for many people. Then moving day and the first few weeks after the transition can be just as hard.

The Memory Center guide to downsizing features best practices for making the process easier. You will find tips on everything from how to get started, choosing a realtor who understands the needs of seniors to preparing for moving day and getting settled.

Packing Up & Moving On

Moving from a home full of memories and treasures can be an emotionally and physically exhausting process. If you have the luxury of time, tackling the downsizing in stages is our best recommendation.

Here are best practices for getting started:

If this isn’t an emergency move, start by planning what to do when. Set a timeline with milestone dates and divide up duties among family members.
Next, conduct a room by room inventory of furniture, household items and other treasures. A Home Inventory worksheet will make the process easier.
Download our Home Inventory Worksheet
Organize the necessary packing supplies before you start. We recommend lots of boxes, bubble wrap, markers, labels, scissors, and trash bags. Number each box and use a Master List Worksheet to keep track of what is in each box. This makes finding the clothes iron or sauce pan much easier when you need it.
Start in rooms used the least frequently. The items stored there may be the easiest ones with which to part. Start with 5 boxes labeled: Move, Donate, Trash, Family and Storage. As you work your way through the room, sort items by these categories.
Identify items your loved one can’t live without in their new senior apartment. Sometimes the things that make your family member feel most at home can be more important than the most expensive items. Make of list of these items your loved one designates as necessary then consider the amount of these items require. This will help you determine the space available for other belongings lower on the priority list.
You may have to pare down the list of items. A good way to start is to ask if the item has been used in the last year. The last two years or even three years. Realizing an item hasn’t been used an item in a long time can make it easier to part with or move to the lower priority list.
Would someone in the family enjoy this item? Parting with a cherished item might be easier if it finds a new home with a family member.
Prioritize What Items Your Loved One Needs to Feel At Home
Explore non-profits in your area that make home pick-ups. Goodwill and Salvation Army will come right to your door to accept donations so you can focus on your packing rather than transporting heavy items.
As a last resort, if there are items you or your loved absolutely have to keep even though they won’t fit in the new apartment, rent a storage space. Agree that if they haven’t been used in one year, the contents will be donated or given to family.

Putting Together a Smooth Transition Support Team

If the logistics of a move are too overwhelming or you are a long-distance caregiver, it may be time to call in the experts for help. Senior Move Managers and Senior Real Estate Specialists (SRES) are professionals you can turn to for support with this process. You might also consider utilizing a home care agency to help with some of the work before and after the move.

Certified Relocation & Transition Specialist (CRTS) – These rofessionals have experience and certified competency in senior home transitions, senior relocation and in the senior move fields. Search for a specialist in your area who can make this transition a smooth one.
National Association of Senior Move Managers (NASMM) – This organization is made up of senior move managers who have all gone through the NASMM Cornerstone Course in Senior Move Management Ethics and Accountability course. Members are screened for insurance and for experience. Find a Senior Move Manager near your family member.
Seniors Real Estate Specialists (SRES) – Part of downsizing for most seniors involves selling a home. It is often a home they have lived in for several decades. Realtors who have this designation have undergone training in senior topics ranging from reverse mortgages to the emotional issues involved in selling the family home. Find a local SRES professional to help you with the sale of your elderly loved one’s home.

Moving Day Is Almost Here: How to Prepare

Taking some extra steps ahead of time can make moving day much easier for everyone. That includes thinking of the “must have with us” items as well as the things that you might need as you are unpacking and helping your loved one settle in to their new home. We recommend setting up two different boxes to keep with you in your vehicle rather than sending with the movers on the big day. And make sure to bring items like scissors, screwdriver or other tools you might need.

Box #1: Important Items/Valuables

This box should contain emergency information and valuables that you can’t be without or don’t want to risk losing. This could include:

Medications
Copies of Insurance policies, Power of Attorney or any needed legal documents
Health records including Medicare card and any insurance cards
Personal memorabilia like photo albums, scrapbooks, letters
Jewelry or collectibles that you don’t store in a safety deposit box
Master list of what each box that you are moving contains

Box #2: Need It Now

As you begin unpacking in the new home for memory care listed are our recommendations on what to include in this box:

Bedding & Linens – mattress cover, sheets, blankets, pillows, etc.
Towels & wash cloths
Continent supplies (if needed)
Toiletry items – toilet paper, tissues, tooth brush & toothpaste comb, hairbrush
Clothing – Keep choices limited – 4 to 6 Outfits, light jacket, sweater, comfortable shoes, sleeping attire, socks.
Most important – check with the resident care coordinator at your new community to see what can and cannot be kept in a memory care environment. *Guidelines vary state to state.

Making a Smooth Transition

Let’s face it, moving is rarely ever fun. Moving from a home you have lived in for many years can be especially difficult. If you are moving an elderly loved one in to an assisted living community these suggestions can help make the transition go more smoothly.

Work with the community ahead of time to establish a plan to help your loved one meet people and become involved before the move. If they know the basic logistics and can find their way around, it will keep them from feeling lost. Familiar faces are also important. Help them meet a few residents ahead of time.
Try to unpack their favorite and familiar things early in the settling in process. Have family photos set up. Hang the grandchildren’s artwork on the refrigerator or wall. Do whatever you can to recreate the environment they had at home.
Encourage visitors. Frequent visitors in the early days after the move can be beneficial. Then families can taper off visiting as their family member becomes more oriented to their new home and more involved in the new community.
Build relationships with the staff members that will be most involved with your loved one. Then touch base with them for input on how your family member seems to be doing during the transition. Encourage them to call you if they sense your parent or elderly loved one needs personal attention from family.

If you have more questions or would like more information about how The Memory Center transitions new residents, feel free to contact us.